It Does Not Suck To Be A Black Woman!
I know as a black Christian woman that I should be grateful that NBC News even bothered to devote a weeklong series to African American women. But I’m not. I have not been impressed. If I were a sister from another planet and depended upon a satellite of NBC’s “African American Women: Where They Stand” to give me my first introduction to the lives of black women I would probably conclude, “I’m glad I’m a sister from another planet. It must suck to be a black woman.”
In case you didn’t know, because you live on another planet that doesn’t have satellite, a special series has been airing all week over at "NBC News with Brian William" focusing on a wide-range of issues affecting black women entitled “African American Women: Where They Stand.” Night One of the series aired on Monday night with a discussion of black women’s educational achievements. Did you know that nearly two-thirds of black graduates are women, and at black colleges the ratio of women to men is a staggering 7 to 1?
On Tuesday, Night Two, the series focused on the increased risks for breast cancer among black women. Black women with breast cancer are nearly 30% more likely to die from it than white women. Lord have mercy.
A roundtable talk about relationships was the format on Wednesday, Night Three, with NBC correspondent Rehema Ellis facilitating the intimate chat with three members of a Chicago book club. Here we learned, as if we didn't know already, that the percentage of African-American women between 25-54 who have never been married has doubled from 20% to 40% in the past fifty years. (Compared to just 16% of white women who have never been married today). Many feel that the achievement gap in education and business among African-Americans is having an effect on relationships, changing "Black America's family and social structure."
Last night’s segment on black women and heart disease reiterated the well known fact that we’re all just one hamhock away from a heart attack, to quote my friends over at WAOD. Put soberly, heart disease is the leading cause of death among black women.
After four nights of watching NBC's reports on the sorrowful plight of black womanhood, all I could do to dull the pain afterwards was to grab the tv monitor and turn to the UNC-Purdue women's basketball game.
The truth will set you free, but first it will hurt your feelings. Not to mention make you look bad in front of others.
Listen up: I am a black woman. Hear me roar -- It does not suck to be a black woman! Heartache, loneliness, disease, suffering, and poverty are not the sum total of our existence as black women. We laugh, love, play, sing, work, fight, cry, pray, jump, dance, work, smile, kiss, hug, fight, cry, pray, work, raise our families the best we can and trust God to do the rest, like every other woman who knows that life is what you make it. Life is tough, but there is joy.
If Friday’s segment is as forecast on the black woman vote in South Carolina, perhaps things will look up tonight. Hopefully, black women won’t come off looking like such an unhealthy, downtrodden, lonely race of women. After all, in South Carolina half of Democratic voters in the state are African American, and most of those are female—40%of whom have yet to settle on a presidential candidate. You guessed it. The latest flavor of the month in South Carolina Democratic circles is the black female vote. Battling for dominance in the region, the campaigns of Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama are in hot pursuit of black women. My suggestion to black women voters in South Carolina this morning after this week long NBC series is to play hard to get. Leverage your power. Make the candidates address the issues that matter to you. Take your time to decide.
On second thought, things could go from bad to worse for black women tonight. Seems like reporters and pollsters covering the South Carolina primary race have the bright idea that the black beauty shop is ground zero for finding out what’s on black women’s minds. Depending upon what you think about the public display of nappy roots, if NBC’s “African American Women: Where They Stand” cameras bust up in black hair salons to interview black women voters, things could get real kinky.
15 comments:
I watched the first night and didn't bother to rush through my family's evening routine the other nights to finish watching the series. I was disappointed enough from what I saw on Monday. I felt as though NBC hired some fresh out of college journalism major who decided to do all his/her research on the web while taking breaks from playing his/her Wii game or texting friends for this "in depth" look. I used to be a faithful NBC Nightly News watcher, but gave it up (as I did much of my news watching) because it became too much to handle and I desperately needed to focus on more positive news. If this is in depth journalism, we are in serious trouble.
Rev. Renita: I am laughing out loud at this post! We're one hamhock away..LOL. You're right, it does not suck to be a black woman. It's tough, but I wouldn't trade my culture or gender for anything in this world. Since I am originally a S.C. black woman, it will be interesting to see how the women in my home state take charge of this new advantage. Since the state is so different and we have the issues of urban vs. rural, educated vs. working, denomination vs. denomination, native vs. newcomer, I hope they are approaching reaching women in this state in a monolithic approach. What if a sista isn't going to the beauty shop? Where else are you going to try to reach her...hmmmm.
Dear Sistalove Renita,
Thank you for the blog post alert. I don't have a television (by choice), but do follow programs via the Internet. I have to say that when I first heard about the program, I was not excited. I wondered if NBC would highlight positive contributions and experiences more than the negative. I am tired of mainstream media defining us. That's why it is so important for us to support those who report on our full stories.... all of the positive and not so positive aspects of our lives. I worry that there is so much negative information floating in the mainstream media about Black women that it really hurts a lot of us who don't work at surrounding ourselves with positive information, images, people, tools and resources.
Again thank you for all you do.
Peace and Sistalove Sisterhood to you. Ananda
i've been watching the NBC nightly news "Black Woman footnote" this week and i'm with you, i'm not impressed. i've heard many say that we should be thankful for the mere fact that Black women have been highlighted and that "there is only so much they can broadcast within a 30min telecast." but my days of celebrating black women getting a foot in the door are over. i have the audacity to think that we deserve and should get more. it's not enough just to get some airtime; we need to be paying attention to the particular ways in which we are being portrayed and the messages that are sent... and hold folk accountable to getting it right. but hey, i really wasn't expecting much.
as for the pivotal role of blak women in the SC democratic primary, i've been reading the posts over at What About Our Daughters and i can't agree more with the sistas over there who are saying that black women need to hold the presidential candidates' toes to the fire on the issues that are important to us. if black women want to see some changes, this election can't be about our personal affinity or concern for another candidate. it has to be about the issues and where they stand. after reading the new york times article, it seems that black women must be reminded of this just as much as the candidates.
i'm not up on politics as much i should be, but where are the black women political interest groups who can step up and layout an agenda?? i don't agree with the al-and-jesse-there-is-only-one-black-leader-for-black-folk model, but here is where i'd like to see black women public figures and interest groups taking advangtage of this and outlining an agenda.
What if a sista isn't going to the beauty shop? Where else are you going to try to reach her...hmmmm.
My thoughts exactly. Follow me and some other sisters to the barbershop. :) Better yet, stop by this and other blogspots.
I didn't even know about these segments until I heard Farai interviewing Rahiema (sp?) Ellis on News and Notes. I'll admit I had high hopes. In the future I will try to do a better job of managing my expectations.
Dr. Reems writes, "Listen up: I am a black woman. Hear me roar -- It does not suck to be a black woman! Heartache, loneliness, disease, suffering, and poverty are not the sum total of our existence as black women."
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Amen!!! Can we talk???
I had to flip the script on my blog. I had to determine whose report I will believe.
Attorneymom will believe the report of Lord. His report says victory. His report says I am healed and free.
Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is Liberty.
It is far time that we stop entangling our souls and bodies with yokes (thoughts and actions) of bondage.
Thank you for this post.
Sincerely,
Attorneymom
www.charactercorner.blogspot.com
Sidebar: I refuse to watch the series.
Amen...Amen...and Amen again! Our lives being documented as if we are basket full of despair and sorrow. We have overcome slavery, Jim Crow, withstood and fought against sexism..and many, many, other obstacles. It would be impossible to fit our lives into a few hours even for basic comprehension or understanding of our day to day lives.
Thank you Rev.Dr. Mother Renita, your insight is a jewel as always.
Hi! I got to your blog via WAOD's blog.
I am so glad to see so many bloggers are 'not believing the hype!' The doom and gloom reporting has no power over us! Yay!!!!
I pray that other women, who are unreachable by blogosphere also know this.
AND I pray that should the media ever decide to "throw us a bone" that we still not succumb and keep to our OWN media!
I am from the other planet. Didn't see the promos or the news reports. As soon as I finish writing this, I am going to NBC's website and read the scripts or play the videos. The only reason I am writing is to suggest that some of the energy used to write on this blog also be used to write NBC and tell them of your and our displeasure at their once again doing an inadequate job of reporting and investigating our story(ies).
I agree that we must take our power back and focus on what is beautiful about us. I'm so sick and tired of being conditioned by the media to feel bad about being a black woman.
Yes it saddens me that our brothers are sorely lacking on the come up...but we've got to keep pressing on. As black women we have got to make better choices in our men and stop believing that we can raise men on our own. There will always be successful single black mom stories...but as a whole our men are not being raised properly because they are not balanced. As black women we need to SCREAM at the mountain top..."NO BABIES BEFORE COMMITMENT." Just having this value alone can stop a lot of the "I wear a super woman's cape, and I can do life all on my own syndrome."...
I don't watch the news or subscribe to cable...I do my best to live my life with intention and love. If I want something I go after it ( as long as it's not hurting anyone), I treat others as I would like to be treated, and I live my life in truth.
We were the first women to roam earth and essentially gave birth to civilization; as black women there is nothing that we can't do. But we need to live for ourselves and our God first and foremeost instead of defining ourselves through statistics.
"Not even an object of fantasy."
I did not have the opportunity to see the NBC series, but I heard some discussion about the reporting. Based on what I was told, I wasn't pleased. I thought, "Is there any good news...Is there just a little balance?" Around the same time, a sistah friend and I had a serious debate over an episode that aired on the Tara Banks show. Again, I did not see this show either; but, my sistah friend filled me in on the details. After hearing the details, I became quite upset over this information.
It seems that Tara had a show about the object of men's fantasies, based on race. She selected a racially diverse sample of men from the audience and instructed each man to stand behind one woman, among a racially diverse group of women located on stage. His selection was to represent the woman he fantasizes about or is attracted to, based on race. And guess what, not one of the men selected the lone black woman on stage. From what I got, there was more than one “brotha” among the group chosen as the random sample.
Tara became exasperated with the brothas and, more or less, chastised them. Then after she stepped down from her soap box, she gave the men the opportunity to rethink their decisions and make their selections again. One brotha tentatively chose the sistah.
Upon hearing this story, my initial reaction was how irresponsible and utterly ridiculous this show. I said, “...this is so staged. You can’t tell me a black woman is not an object of fantasy for not one man, in any racial group, among the men selected..." After I cursed—a little—I explained that the larger issue for me is the fact that there are so many young black adolescent girls who idolize Tara Banks and watch her show faithfully. What must they feel after seeing this episode? Am I desirable? Inasmuch as grown women say what we don’t need a man to do and how we don’t need to be affirmed by a man, I venture to say it is different for our young adolescent girls, who look to the media and media figures for cultural cues on the standards of beauty.
So, I guess we should add “undesirable” to the “Black Woman, Woe Is Me” list.
All in all, I think Tyra Banks offers young women conversations about topics like self-esteem, body image and fashion, but she also pushes on many contemporary issues. From the glimpses of her show that I catch here and there, I think she goes beyond skin deep beauty topics. From what you have described, I don't think that episode was staged, but does depict American male preferences.
I sit in diverse settings and have become aware of colleagues and others who show interest because they have never had a relationship with a sista. I have had to let guys know upfront that I can not be apart of their dating experiments. A few years ago, a friend of mine went to Europe for a visit and returned for an extended period to complete grad school. She said that the she was really enjoying all of the interest from European men who really showed her attention and affection that she never experienced in America. Yet, I also think she left her hangups at home, was more carefree and felt less pressure to fit some image or role. It was such a healthy boost for her to feel desired.
I suppose this is the power of the Diaspora experience!
katherine
Sister K,
Thank you for sharing your point of view. I really don't know if the episode was staged or not, as I indicated what was my initial reaction to the story. However, I would not be surprised by anything, and I'm not at all convinced that this is not a viable possibility. Sensationalizing this topic is not too far fetched, because every aspect of the dismal plight of black women seems to be the flavor right now.
As far as Tara Banks goes, I can't speak to her motivation or integrity, because I don't know her or watch her talk show. I've tried a few times to watch her show, and I never managed to sit through an entire episode. During my feeble attempts to pay attention, I've found the subject matter uninteresting and the conversations trite. Now in saying this, I'm not saying her show is not good; I’ve just not tuned in on one of those good days.
Nevertheless, I'm married to a Brotha, who loves his Black Woman--of this I am sure. I spend a considerable amount of time interacting in diverse circles and have a serious sistah girlfriend network, which meets quarterly for brunch and real conversation. To this end, I believe I maintain a reasonable grasp on dating, relationships, community affairs and global matters. I just don't see the desirableness or desirability of the Black woman as a Diaspora experience or American male preference issue. I see it largely as what I call the "Mammy" paradigm--it's perfectly acceptable for us to nurture your woundedness, suckle your children, and be on display as the object of your lust. Yet, we are not good enough to be the object of your desire. From eons of socialization, we believe the hype and we pass it on to our daughters and sons. Perhaps I'm a cynic, but I'm just not convinced.
I can remember the year after Halle Berry won the Oscar for Monsters Ball, what happened when she presented the best actor’s award to the winner--I don't remember his name. What struck me was that unbeknownst to Halle the actor grabbed her in one fell swoop and gave her a full on the month kiss--not a peck, but a real kiss. She was shocked. Her husband—at that time—was shocked. The audience was shocked. And, I was shocked. The actor later admitted that prior to the kiss they had never met; this was something he always wanted to do; and, he referenced Monsters Ball. I couldn't help but sit there thinking, would he have done this to a white woman of the same caliber? Did Halle's sex scene in Monsters Ball somehow make him think he did not have to ask permission? Was she angry? Am I paranoid…?
To Pat D. JW,
By diverse settings, I meant that I have done missionary work throughout Southern Africa, attended medical school in the Caribbean and grew up in the second most diverse community the USA, the New York City borough of Queens.
I too sit down with my sister friends, almost monthly for the last 10 years, we have been reading books (100+) and faithfully sharing our lives. Among our group there is great diversity as we range in age with a few in their 20s and some in there 70s; a little more than half of those in the group are married and some have children while many of us attended undergrad/grad schools together and/or grew up in the same New York City neighborhoods we are mostly connected by our experience as African American women. And they would agree with you about the "Mammy" paradigm!
You, my sister, are not paranoid. I appreciate all that you have offered.
To my sistren,
I did not watch the special and from the description I read, it did not encourage me to be interested either. What did it say that many of us did not already know? AND WITH ALL THE RECENT TRAGIC INCIDENTS OF VIOLENCE AGAINST OUR SISTERS, I.E., THE SISTER IN CHICAGO, LATASHA NORMAN AT JACKSON STATE, MEGAN WILLIAMS IN WEST VIRGINIA AND THE RECENT SHOOTING IN DETROIT OF A YOUNG GIRL BY HER MOTHER'S EX-BOYFRIEND AS SHE JUMPED BETWEEN THEM TO PROTECT HER MOTHER, WHY DIDN'T THEY ALSO DO A PIECE ON THIS TOPIC AS WELL?
I agree with the earlier posting, please don't expect me to be glad that NBC decided to throw us a bone of a little bit of air time.
:(
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